My saga Part I

It's New Year's Eve and what am I doing? Reading other people's blogs and that just about sums it up. It's 11:52 so I suppose I will be writing this when midnight rolls around. Maybe I'll stop writing this as soon as the clock strike 12 and give my guy a big smooch. I can't even believe that I am here with him. It's quite a tale to tell. I think I will waste some time and tell it to all of you.

I met my boyfriend four years ago when I moved from Illinois to Texas. My sister and aunt lived here and I decided to try my luck in the big state of Texas. I loved it here from the moment that I got here. It was like I was a new me. I was happy for the first time in my life and content. So, what does a single gal do who is looking for some love? Well, I decided to log onto Yahoo and find me a guy.

I met a couple of guys but nothing really came of it. One of them was a crazy doctor who showered me with gifts and called but one day decided to go to Germany for three months after we had been talking for awhile. So, I moved on. During that time I stated talking to my guy. At first I didn't think that we were going to really click. He sent me a picture of himself and I was not really all that into him. He looked like one of my friends dad and well, I just could not go there. Plus he was pretty heavy in the picture. I like big guys but his weight made him really look the dad. So we stopped talking for awhile.

Then one day he IMd me again. He asked me to go out to dinner. I told him no with the hopes that he would go away. He did not. He's a persistant fellow. So when he asked me out again I decided to go in the hopes that we would meet not hit it off and once again he would just fade away. Nope, didn't happen.

Our first date was kind of strange. We both worked until late so we decided to meet at our local House of Pancakes. It was the only place open at that time of night. I had a picture of him so I assumed that I would know what he looked like when I saw him. So I got there first and looked around. I did not see anyone who looked like him. Remember I'm looking for a fairly large guy here. No big guys anywhere around me. So as I'm walking into the place this kinda cute guy walks in behind me.

The hostess thought that we were together because we walked in at the same time so she told us to both follow her. I was a little upset because this man was actually following me. He sat down at the table right next to me so I was feeling a little better, but then he kept looking at me. I was starting to get kinda freaked out here. I was just getting to ask him what the hell he was looking at when he said my name. Guess what? It was him. He forgot to tell me that he'd lost about fifty pounds. He's such a booger. Anyways the date was wonderful. For the next three years we were together--Kinda of.

More of the story in the next post.

Is this strange?

Today I leaned something about my boyfriend that I never knew, and we've been toghether off and on for three years. He likes me drunk. Huh? He says I act better. I didn't even ask him what the fuck that was all about. I just let it ride. Yep, thats the new me. I just let the shit roll off my back. Sounds kind of nasty doen't it. Also, I'm kinda drunk right now and I can't spell worth a crap. So now I'm gonna ask him what he meant by that and will report back shortly.

Me: What do you mean I act better when I'm drinking?
Him: You just do.
Me: Happier, sadder,??
Him: More laid back.

Ok. I can live with that. And yes, I know I'm thrillin the shit out of every single one of my readers. Three post and only one person has looked at the site. That's ok, because I've been pimpin myself out by reading other blogs and making comments in the hopes that they will read mine ect. ect. ect....

Man, I should drink more often but I can't. I'm diabetic and it's a big no no. I used to do it all the time until my doctor told me that one day I would drink one night and just not wake up. Can you say freak the hell out of me. Yes it did. So I drink once maybe twice a year. At the moment I'm having me some butterscotch schnops and diet mt. dew. It's actually pretty damm good.

My boyfriend wont' leave me alone because he wants me to talk about the fact that he's playing Diablo on the internet and talking about pimpin midgets. He has a thing for midgets. That's cool with me. The little people need loving too. (DISCLAMER-I mean no disrespect to little people, midgets, dwarfs or anyone under four feet tall)

But I've got a little secret to tell--The little people in the Wizard of Oz scare the hell out of me. I'm not sure why exactely, they just do. I think it's the combination of their voices and those odd outfits that they are wearing. To this day I hate pointed shoes. God that show gives me nightmares. The flying monkeys are kind of out there too. Loins, Tigers and bears my ass. Just don't let me meet one of those oz people in a dark ally. I might have a heart attack on the spot.

We are watching Law and Order-Criminal Intent or some shit and this lady died from peeing the bed. She short circuited her electric blanket. What a terrible way to die. Can you imagine the jokes she's getting in heaven. I bet they are laughing their asses off up there. Oh and if any of my readers has a relative die this way, all I can say is DAMN. You must be so ashamed.

Ok, kids that all for tonight. Chat with you tomorrow.

PS. I just used the spell check and found all kinds of mistakes, but I'm to lazy to fix em right now. Maybe later.

Animal Love

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Why can't we eat our young?

As I've said in my profile I'm the proud mother of two very wonderful children, but there are times when I wonder why God didn't give us the ability to eat our young. I mean other animals in this great world of ours can, why can't we? Don't get me wrong, I love my kids. It's just that wouldn't it be a great tool to use at times.

I could see myself using this treat all of the time. The next time my 11 year old gives me the "evil eye" or stomps her foot wouldn't it be great to just be able to say "Hey, don't make me eat your ass. You had a brother last week. Now where is the little punk. He's in my belly, that's where. Now go do your friggin homework and I mean NOW!" That would be so totally awsome.

I'm totally gonna use that the next time she gives me grief. Hell, she won't know what hit her. It will freak the hell out of her and maybe just maybe she will be so flustered that she will just do what I say. To bad the two year old is to young to undersand what mommy is really saying! Oh well, he's young enough that I have time to come up with some other way to get under his skin. What a wild ride it's gonna be. See ya!

Blogging again?

Ok, here I go again. This is my second attempt at writing a blog. My first blog got me into a lot of trouble and I learned quite a few lessons on what not to do when writiing a blog.

1. Do not tell your family and friends about the blog if your planning on writing about them on the blog. Big mistake. I wrote one to many personal blogs and it blew up in my face. Never ever and I mean ever write about sex and kitty litter. It will get you every time.

2. Don't wirte blogs at work if your boss can sneak up behind you and read your computer screen. Of course, this is a bisic no no at work, but hell, who really wants to do actual work at work. Am I right?

So, I know I only put like two things on my list, but hey, give me a break, I still kind of new to this. I will sign off for now, go check out the blog to see if it works and maybe I'll keep writing this time around.